Here we are Thanksgiving all full of yummy food and playing out in the yard at Carrie and Edd's
We have put Noah and Nora in Daycare. I was very nervous at first, mostly because Nora is so little still, but they love it. Noah is making friends and getting structure and consequences. He is growing up so quickly! and Nora is well taken care of and adjusting well. She even sleeps on a mat on the floor with the other kids! How crazy is that? Patrick and I are seperated completely for the next month, we only see eachother and talk to eachother when giving eachother the kids. This will help sever the unhealthy dependence we have on eachother. It will be difficult, but I am so busy at work that the only time that's lonely is crawling in bed at night. I think about my single friends lately. I think some of them like to sleep alone, but that's prob the worst part right now. Lelu (the cat) has gone crazy, but she's starting to settle down and sleeps on my chest at night, so that helps. :o)So far so good. I found a great poem, by Rabindranath Tagore, I might have mentioned already that says, "If you shed tears when you miss the sun, you also miss the stars", so though I miss Patrick I will focus on the things I need to change and spending time with the kids and enjoying my life or the part that is going well at least. :o)
I haven't written and that's okay. A lot has happened and I invite you on the journey. We moved in with my brother (or so I like to call him). Patrick was just a lump on a log while I started working two jobs and he was going to school. He said he was depressed, but who isn't. Our counselor suggested meds and so Patrick went to the Doc and was handed some lovely anti-depressants. What a difference! Who is this calm, nice guy? In the mean time things were going down hill fast and we decided to seperate for a little while. This does not mean divorce, this means get your shit together you two!
I love my job. I currently am an office manager at Perspectives Photo Artistry. I do a lot of different things, including event planning which I love. I am staying with my mom for a little while, we'll see how that goes... Patrick an d I were soo close that we couldn't breathe. This is our breathing time. In...out...in...out. I need to work on some things and so does he, you get to read about it on my blog, lucky you. :o)
I am having internet issues, but plan to be posting soon. Hang in there!
Starbucks Socrum Loop is now open. The much awaited and much pushed back event has finally happened. The northside of Lakeland has gotten a drive-thru. I went there this morning and it was wonderful. Although overnight they only had two customers, I'm sure once the word is out they will be busy. The drinks are so yummy because the machines are brand new!
I had a store meeting at my new store yesterday and think that it will be good to have to follow all of these standards for a little while. I may run back to Lake Miriam as soon as possible. I have made a friend or two, but that little issue with authority has reared it's ugly head. I think the mark of maturity will be if I can grin and bear it and not show off the beautiful chip on my shoulder! It was getting a little dusty. :o)
Nora is walking now and has moved into the "toddler" stage. While I am putting the dishes away she will toddle on over to the dishwasher and start handing me the silverware one at a time. I was putting a 24 pack of waters in the fridge and she started helping. She's so smart. I talk to her more than I talked to Noah at this age. I expect more, I think, because I know how quickly kids grow and what they are capable of. She found a piece of paper on the floor today and handed it to me. She then took it back and walked off, I was distracted for a moment, but looked over and saw that she had walked over to the garbage to throw it away. She's doing what I do. Both my kids are such helpers. I guess that's a good thing.
Noah fell asleep before her tonight, which is unusual, and we were out in the living room and I saw her start to walk toward his room, so I ran to grab her before she could wake him up, but she wasn't there. She is congested and all I could hear was her snotty breathing and I had to follow it to where she had wandered behind the kitchen table. She thought this was so funny! She laughs and ducks her head likes she is shy, it is sooo cute!
As you all know Noah gets up at the crack of dawn (sometimes 5am) and sneaks out of his room to go get into trouble in the kitchen, by giving the cat a haircut or trying to make muffins for breakfast. Well, John Rosemond came to MOPS on Thursday to speak and we got to ask questions afterwards. I asked about this behavior because no amount of talks consequences or spankings has stopped him from this mischief. Dr Rosemond replied that it just sounds like his personality. He called it a glitch! He says I can't expect perfection. I walked away with my mouth hanging open. I told my mom all this this morning and she says, "I remember this little girl who would wake up at 6am and make her own oatmeal or grits in the microwave when she was Noah's age (meaning me). It's my fault or default rather, but my mom never said just wait until you have kids of your own. I'll be saying it though.
I have a few blogs I like to keep up with. Friends here and some that have moved very far away. I love to hear about the neat things people are doing either on their own or with their children. I've gotten away from sharing very much with whoever reads my blog, just updates now and then. A lot has happened lately and maybe I think if I hold it all in or atleast pretend I am keeping it together all will be well. Who cares if I almost sob at the littlest things? That song is very moving! The one about "crying on His shoulder"...
I feel like at lot of the time I am playing a game and draw the card that says take three steps back, over and over again.
This car accident has proven to be the last straw.
I am continuing to go to the Chiro and I've gotten my cast off and it is getting better everyday. Our time with the rental is up so, the next step was figuring out how we were going to get a vehicle without a trade or a down payment two months after already making that decision once before! Patrick went back to his old work, Michael Holley to see if they could work something out for us. They did and we now have a new vehicle. Why am I not happy? I have a beautiful, fully loaded RED sporty little car, nothing wrong with it and if we treat it right, nothing will go wrong for a lonnngg time. We got invoice bottom price, okay interest and our payments are reasonable. Maybe it's because I already HAD my favorite vehicle with NO interest, laughable payments and some idiot took a left turn from the right lane and practically begged me to hit him! So, everytime I see my new car, or drive it, or think about it, I want to scream! I should be so happy to have a great new car, but instead I'm having a little Deja Vu.
I would like the family moments and a working digital camera, perhaps a new positive adventure to embark on, but I don't- so I am a little angry now. I was dealing well, with the curve ball, but the car, the new, in your face, na na na boo boo, red car, is taunting me and we've only had it a day. Maybe I'm in one of the five stages of grief? denial, anger...
Not faith in God, no, denial and now anger, what's next and when can we get to acceptance? I can't even begin to get to the rest of the crap we are having to deal with. More on that at a later date.
Everyday this month (Oct 2-Nov 7) you can go into Starbucks and ask for a free itunes song. They will give you a card with a song they've chosen which you can take to itunes and download for free! You can get a different song everyday.
Also, this new Starbucks card (shown below) can be taken to starbucks.com and registered which gives you two free credits on itunes to pick your own songs for free. You can register up to 3 cards with a minimum of 5$ on each card. That's 6 free songs people woohoo! So if you already know you are gonna go 3 times in the 3 months just put money on the cards and get free songs!
I went to the doc and got my cast taken off today. I was a little nervous about the saw especially since I had to take the kids with me. Watson clinic ortho nurses were great though, they watched the kids while I got my x-rays done and gave Noah stickers of course. The nurse sawing my cast off tried to make it like no big deal and said how it would tickle mommy, but Noah didn't believe her and started crying. It really did tickle and he soon cheered up. My hand felt so strong in the cast, but the moment she took it off it felt so fragile.
The dr looked at the xrays and said the bone looked good and to wear my splint and exercise my wrist, maybe use a stress ball and ice. He said bruises and sprains usually hurt worse and for longer than a break. I'm working it out. I'm just glad to be going back to work and being able to use both hands!
We are about to give up our rental car, so now what? Used? New? We were incredibly blessed to get the last vehicle and to tell you the truth, I am scared to drive such a small vehicle again. Not that it didn't protect me, during the accident it was just really scary and of course- the baby vehicles are the cheap vehicles. Looking on websites the vehicles are all the same, no matter what brand. Let this be a lesson, buy GAP insurance, we are currently fighting to get our vehicle loan paid off. You are upside down for atleast 2 years and I hear it isn't that expensive. oi vay! What a headache!
