Posts (page 2)
I get up early, I am like totally on the ball, I get the kids out the door, for ONCE I am not going to be late to Accounting and it is going to be a great day. Fail... Epic Fail...
Coming out of Starbucks I turn on Beacon Rd to start heading to School in Ybor. I don't normally go down this road, but whatever. Pass the flashing yellow light for the school zone going faster than the approved 15 miles per hour and get tagged by a policeman. I am remembering a line from the movie Dan in Real Life, "Put it on my tab". Not only is it my second speeding ticket in 6 months, but it is the SAME cop that gave me the first ticket! GRR. He is nice enough to only makes me pay the regular ticket price instead of the double amount you would normally have to pay when speeding in a school zone, but the ticket is still $189. Double GRRR! I tried to slow down! If only I had my concealed and was considered one of the "good guys". :o(
I get to school, almost on time, and I am making a turn that I have been making since the semester started when BOOM I hit the curb...with both passenger side tires...it knocks me out of gear, so when I go to step on the gas, hurriedly running from my embarrassment, it guns the engine and I go NOWHERE. *SIGH*
I want to cry. I park and since I may need proof of the reason that I am late, I slip my beautiful ticket into my bag and get a BLEEDING PAPERCUT. I am so mad and upset and have a quiz in Accounting so I can't skip and am meeting Jason later to go get the livescan done at the Tampa Police Dept (like I WANT to see another police officer anytime soon), so I call him to have him pick me up a little earlier because I don't feel like doing typing drills today. He's asking what is wrong and I don't want to admit that I got ANOTHER speeding ticket or mention anything about that stupid Kia that I am grateful for, but wish would die.
Worst day ever.
It got better by the end of the day as it always does, but this is one for the record books.
Jason invited the kids and I to move in with him this past Christmas. My lease is up at the end of March, so during this month we will be readying Jason's house for me and the kids to move in. His Dad is graciously coming down from North Carolina next week to build on a second bedroom (for Nora) and to put a bathtub in the second bathroom which was previously removed. A whole other story... Anyway. His Father had his own business for many years building houses in Connecticut and is currently building a beautiful home in NC. I am so very excited! Jason lives out in the boonies and the kids love it. They have ready-made friends next door and plenty of room to run around out in the yard and to ride their bikes. Noah and Nora will continue to attend Happy Days and Noah will be going to the newish school on Yates Rd, R. Bruce Wagner Elementary for Kindergarten in the fall. Big changes happening over the next few months including (hopefully) a trip to see Misty and her family out West in Oregon.
I am taking Beginning PC typing as part of my major. I basically already know how to type, although I do look at the keys a LOT. Cake. It is actually kinda fun doing the drills and stuff. The first thing I noticed is I got slower first. Like 10 wpm slower. I stuck with it and refused to look down although I really wanted too! The second thing I noticed is that I began to type out a slow paced rhythm. I am now pretty consistent with that rhythm and although I am not typing at an amazing wpm, I am not looking down and I am learning correct placement. Once I know all the keys I am confident that the speed will come. It's only been a month-I have time. This made me think of a few other things.
Having a part-time job or a job that pays less than you would like it to can take you places that having no job and waiting on THE job will never.
Having something that works for a little while is more satisfying that getting the something you want right away, but can't afford.
Knowing what you want and where you are going can help you endure almost anything to reach that dream.
Keeping the blinders on or doing the same wrong things over and over will keep you stagnant.
It is the support of loved ones that keep you going when you want to give up, but you have to actually want it and believe in yourself.
All of this from a typing class...
I learned a lot about civil rights in History last term, as I have mentioned a few times. We now have a new President as of January 20th. He just happens to be African-American. That's a pretty big deal. I think because it was about time it didn't really come as a shock that he won the election. I did not watch it, nor did I watch any of the other inaugurations, so... I didn't really think about it until speech class. We had an informative speech to give and one of the last kids to go described his experience at the inauguration this year. He did a very good job. He also mentioned a fact that I had ignored until that point. Obama used Lincoln's bible to be sworn in. Now, I wondered about this seemingly small little tidbit and did a little research.
Most President's just expect a Bible to be provided for them. Some, like Clinton, use a Bible that has sentimental value (his Grandmother's). I also found a very nice picture and Flicker slideshow. Abraham Lincoln first started the ball rolling on abolishing slavery. Without this man to stand up to wealthy and powerful slave owner's, Obama would have not been anywhere near that place, let alone been given the responsibility of the United States. I'm not sure Abe thought that far, but here we are in a culturally diverse nation where no one owns any person or any thing really. :o) I don't think you can buy a slave on credit these days. That doesn't mean there isn't slavery anywhere because there is, but today the last has become first, the least- most and barrier's have been broken. Neat.
Things have been a little stressful this week. I got a 35% on my first quiz in Accounting. I knew I really did not know what the heck I was doing, so right after I took the quiz I setup a time to meet with the proff. He explained everything (thank God) and I get it now. Accounting is crazy! It's like another language and yet it is math. Hmm. We will be using annual reports from publicly traded companies soon. I wanted to get JetBlue's report, but I need the actual report and you can only print the pdf version...all 100 pages of it...no thank you. I settled for Target. It's cute and it fits in my notebook.
That's really the only difficult class I have this semester. I am really enjoying the computer class. I learned how to make a flyer in Word 2007 and it was so much fun. Seriously, that was the class. Teaching us how to choose color sets and fonts and pictures and spacing, oh my! I have a big project in that class called the Dream Vacation presentation. You have to pick somewhere to go for 7 days and write up the DETAILED itinerary of every single day, use Excel to show your budget and Power Point for slides. I have chosen New York City. It is not really my dream vacation spot, but I would like to go and explore. What I'd like to see isn't Broadway, so it should be interesting what I come up with. I want to keep it semi-realistic, no private jets for me and of course I would bring Jason with me on this dream vacation, so I have to calculate that in. I am doing okay in typing and have to do another presentation in Personal Skills. Although these all sound like fluff classes they are actually helping me be a better person and manager, though there isn't really anything to manage just yet. I have 38 credits to go for my major. Regular Full-time is about 12 credits a semester, so about 3 semesters after this one.
I went to the library today. I got some dvd's and some music and was browsing fiction, when I came across an author I enjoy, Alice Hoffman. That's how not really busy I am, I have time to read something other than a textbook. I think I'm pouty cause Jason's out of town. *whine*
*Sidenote: Patrick moved again back to this side of town and wasn't able to take the kids this weekend. He also has a hearing in Feb for failure to pay child support. If he doesn't go they will arrest him. I'm thinking the Army is not gonna let him in...
I've started to wean myself off of Starbucks. It isn't that I don't want to go there at all. It's that I want to be able to actually pass one and not go through the drive-thru. I have started telling myself, "no" more often and I purchased a gift card for a small amount of money and will only refill it once a week. If I run out before the week is up... oh well.
This has caused me to examine myself a little more. On one of the first non-Starbucks mornings, I went through the feeling of wanting to go and not being able to. I thought, "why do I have to go anyway?"
In the wee hours of the morning, when my alarm is going off and it is cold outside of the covers, I go through my morning in my head. I need to get up, get the kids and myself ready, take them to school, get myself to school... Well. I don't WANT to do any of that! I want to stay in bed where it's warm with the covers over my head! *whine*
I think going to Starbucks in the morning is my consolation prize for having to get up and face the world. How sad is that?
I do really LOVE coffee. It is so sweet and yummy and obviously addictive. With one on the way to every which way I go, it is difficult to resist. It is also a nice treat when we are out running errands. I want to make it an actual treat and not a way of life. The struggle to resist something you REALLY want is a part of growing up and developing character. I think I slept in on the day that that particular lesson was being taught.
I asked Jason what gets him out of bed in the morning? "Responsibility". Psh. Whatever... ;o)
On Tuesday we will have a new President. The first African-American President. I just took modern American History (and got an A, I might add) and learned all about AFRAME's, as I like to abbreviate, rise above oppression. Getting the right to vote, implementing a number of important amendment's and ending segregation.
We were just starting to learn about MLK Jr. and the Black Panthers, Vietnam War etc. It was really fantastic what MLK Jr. did. What was organized during the whole Montgomery Bus Boycott was also amazing. Slavery is wrong. Oppression, although accepted in various forms, is also wrong. I think most of the educated people in this nation agree on these two points.
I know I am a white girl and cannot truly know what it is like nowadays to live in 2009 as an AFRAME. For all I know it could be exactly what it was like all those years ago. Except for the fact that there are no lynchings in the streets. AFRAME's attend the same schools that white people attend. There are so many different races here in the U.S. now that the term "minority" is like an inside joke. The only minority here is the Indians and I don't here a peep from them.
We have an AFRAME President and AFRAME's are celebrating all over the U.S. It is a very big thing that has been accomplished. It is a proud moment for AFRAME's. It is a proud moment for all American's. Race is no longer a factor in the equation. Yet... We still celebrate Black History Month. There are still parade's in honor of MLK Jr. People still play the "race" card. I am not trying to downplay what AFRAME's went through, but it is done. Obama becoming president, I think, officially ended the oppression period. When someone says, "it's cause I'm black isn't it?" We can say, "shut up, that doesn't work any more!" You now suck equally with the rest of the world. Race is no longer a factor in the equation of whether or not you can acheive your dreams. An AFRAME man is president.
Work, school, kids and Jason -not necessarily in that order. There is not much time for anything else, but what about the nagging thoughts I have from time to time? Much of my life is built on routine and habits. Not always good habits, but habits none the less. I will be the first to say that I am not really a disciplined person. I want more and it takes discipline.
I used to listen to the talk. I pay more attention to the walk nowadays and the walk don't lie. I am not liking my walk. I also want to add things that will enrich my life. Those things take discipline. I would say they take time and they do! But I would make time, if only I had the discipline.
And so I wrestle with these silent nagging thoughts. I am always me, but I would like to be a better version of me. I would like to represent more of my core beliefs and not just my shallow hopes. I would like to make a conscious decision to change and not rely on my circumstances to change me. I know a lot of this is being stirred up by God. Jason and I have started going to a "younger adult class" at church, to be aptly named either the Cool Cats or the Fantastic 6, 7, 8... It is a bible study of sorts and the first step to achieving a few of my desires. If these feelings are stirred up by God then I know that he will work to it's completion, "He who began a good work in you..."
Philippians 1:6 (New King James Version)
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
Walk down, look at the ground
Littered with trash, resonate sound
Each piece, a story untold
What is it doing, out here in the cold?
Underwear, condoms, cigars - not the usual
Ybor city is definitely for individuals
By day we learn, by night we dance
Seeking freedom in choices by chance?
Buildings old and weathered, worn
Mafia bullets and families, torn
Colorful people, colorful walls
Nothing written on the bathroom stalls
Similar situations, each wanting life
Most of us battled and riddled with strife
This I can do and more you will see
Nothing will keep me from struggling free
Mon and Wed I travel to Ybor and Tues and Thurs I travel to Plant City. We won't talk about Sat's. I went to Plant City today. I am taking a required course, CGS 1000. It will teach me Word, Excel, Power Point and Access 2007. Some people choose to CLEP this class, but I would really like to learn these things, in depth, so I go at the crack of dawn with about 15 other students who all seem to have just graduated high school. Yay me.
I have missed Plant City campus, but feel like I will enjoy Ybor a little more. The phrase, "you can't go home again" comes to mind. The teacher is excited to teach the class, which is fun. She also told us that she has a 2 1/2 and a 1 1/2 year old. I am beginning to wonder about the teachers at Plant City. Do they send all the crazies there? I saw my english teacher today too.
She said "Hi miss A student!" What's wrong with turning in a 90 % for a resubmit to get a better A? I wanted the A! I got the A too! I didn't learn anything and the last few weeks we watched Scarface, but whatever.
Every class I am taking makes me a better student, a better worker, a better person. It is a lot of work and it seems like life throws the curve balls during the semester, just to see if you will stick with it. Every bone in my body says to stick with it. Do whatever it takes to stay in school and get my degree(s). Especially with the Pell Grant paying for everything! I went to the bookstore and bought my book for the class this morning. It was $175! Seriously? All total my books for this semester cost, $515. Wow. I have heard Nursing students sometimes have to pay $500 for ONE BOOK. I am just hoping that all this work and effort pays off in a career that will provide for my family without any help from any agency or person. "All the women, independent, throw your hands up at me!"
*been thinkin' in lyric-lingo lately...
